How to handle encountering another service dog team

My service dog and I have been a team for long enough that she is now a natural extension of me. We move together as one. I put on her gear every day and take her out wherever I go. She is just another part of my life. I have normalized life with a dog by my side, so it is just a piece of that norm to have her with me when I shop, when I go to the doctor, and when I eat at a restaurant. Yet I still need to remind myself at times, what is my norm is not the norm of most everyone around me. While they are becoming increasingly common, most people, particularly in smaller communities, have never seen a service dog in person before, and they are novelties.

To the general public, they are a foreign body in an otherwise consistent environment. The grocery store is the grocery store. People pushing carts, picking up items for future meals. If you add a dog into the equation it seems to throw off the store's equilibrium. People are no longer focusing on what brand of salad dressing to buy, they are instead focusing on the fact that there is a dog in the store.

I tend to see a whole range of emotions when I pass through a large crowd. Excitement, joy, fear, disgust, hesitance. They don't know me or my dog and don't know if my dog has any malign intentions. I don't blame them, as I actually know just how that feels. Everything I just described is exactly how I feel when I see another service dog team. I often feel joy at knowing that I am not alone. I often feel hesitant as I do not know the other dog. What happens if I round a corner and they are there? What happens if their dog is not friendly? What if it jumps on or even bites my service dog? I'll be honest too, I've felt disgusted when I see a dog behaving in ways that I would never allow my service dog dream of acting.

Most of all though, I feel conflicted. I was walking down the street not too long ago with my girl at my side. Just inside the window of a small coffee shop was a medium sized, long haired, black dog. The dog was wearing a plain red vest and laying quietly under a table while the handler, a woman in her early 30's sat on a stool reading a book and sipping a coffee. I wanted nothing more than to walk inside, order a coffee, stick my dog under the empty table next to her and strike up a conversation. She looked like me, a young woman, healthy in appearance with a well behaved dog!

I debated doing just that, going in and talking to her. Then I realized something: I don't generally like when people come running up to me to talk to me. There are times I don't mind it, and sometimes I can even enjoy certain conversations, but if it was me in that coffee shop engulfed in a good book, allowing the atmosphere and coffee aroma to surround me, the last thing I'd want is for anyone to come up and break me from that. If I was in her place, the last person I'd want bothering me would be someone else with a dog. I would immediately be put on high alert because I'd be taken off guard and I'd become immediately aware that my service dog was laying vulnerable under the table. I don't know the other dogs I encounter in public. They could be epic dogs with the ability to drive a car, but they could just as easily be a dog that will do fine walking through life next to their handler, yet will lose their brain when they see another dog. Some dogs will jump and bark excitedly, others will react aggressively and viciously. Who am I to be able to accurately assess a dog in a split second if someone comes up from behind, dog at their side and rips me from my own world, even with a simple "Hello"?

When I see another team, occasionally I'll watch for a few seconds from afar, or if I catch the other handler's eye I'll smile, because I get it. Often when I do smile I'll see the recognition, because I know they get it too. There are however, things I do not do. I do not follow SD teams through the aisles, either to watch them, work up the courage to talk to them, or even despicably gather (or worse, record) evidence of the dog not acting as an ethical or appropriate service dog to show to a store manager, security guard or the internet. I do not pass by them hoping their dog will react so I can have a story to tell. I do not take pictures to post online. In short, I do not do anything to another team that I would feel uncomfortable to know was done to me.

I, like many, still crave the idea of being able to meet up with those people who have service dogs, who do understand what it's like. I regularly engage in service dog meet ups. Social media is a fabulous place to find, chat with and arrange meet ups with other service dog handlers. I have some general rules I've set for myself regarding meet ups though, all with safety for both dog and handler in mind.

1. Meet in a public place and let someone in your life know where you are going and when to expect you back.
This is important because not everyone has pure intentions despite how kind they sound online. It is best to be cautious the first few times you meet someone. Anyone reasonable should be quite understanding of this.
2. Meet outside to begin with.
In the event that one or both service dogs react to each other it is ideal to be outside where handlers can walk away and retry or offer corrections. It is not polite to have loud, growling, or excited and jumping dogs inside of an establishment.
3. Walk side by side for a bit, humans on the inside, dogs on the outside (or some distance in between if both dogs heel on the same side)
Even though seasoned service dogs should be able to handle walking side by side with another dog, it is still best to allow them time to get used to walking in a public place near a new dog, particularly if one or both of the dogs have not had multiple meet up experiences with other service dogs.
4. If dining together, use caution under tables at first.
Two dogs that just met being crammed under a table could be uncomfortable if they are still unsure about each other. It can be difficult to see what is happening with dogs under a table, particularly if you are enjoying your meal and discussion, so proceed carefully.
5. Respect limits!
Not all disabled handlers or service dogs have the capabilities that you or your service dog may. They may need to leave after a short period, or may need to take extended breaks. Be mindful that not everyone or every dog experiences things as you and your dog do.
6. HAVE FUN!
Meet ups are meant to be fun, not stressful. Figure out things that can make meet ups most enjoyable for all involved.

The last thing to cover would be what to do if you are approached by a team and you do not feel comfortable or able to chat. "Sorry, I'm not able to talk right now," is always appropriate. There is no need to explain any further. You do not owe someone the details of your disability, your dog's tasks or training, what your diagnoses are, or any other intimate question, just because someone has a service dog with them. If you do feel like chatting, that is up to you, but also be aware that you are under no obligation to continue to participate in a conversation if you begin to feel uncomfortable or if your dog seems uncomfortable. Like with any person you will ever choose to meet up with or talk to, you have the right to feel comfortable in your conversation and you are not required to talk about anything you do not want to talk about. You have every right to postpone or end a conversation if you feel your service dog requires it.

Service dog friends can be some of the best though, both for the dogs and for the people!